I'm Autistic! on Vimeo

Emiri Sensei's videos (112)

"Neurotypicals and The Myth of Aspergers" (II)

by Emiri Sensei
I'm Autistic!

by Emiri Sensei
jan. 23 2007

by Emiri Sensei

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charliesteadman 1 year ago

A great clip. You're a hero.
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

that is ridiculous. i am totally NOT a hero.
charliesteadman 1 year ago

A hero accepts challenges, shows courage by facing them head-on and never gives up. Actually, you're a step beyond a hero because you let down your guard to share and explain a side of yourself some might call abnormal or weak. Superman would never do that. You're stronger than the man of steel.
We all learn and grow by turning weakness into strength.
jonwadsworth 1 year ago

Agreed. This took a courage that most people don't have. Can't wait to see more in this series!
triiku 1 year ago

i agree about the whole hero thing, but superman's a douche. She's like batman, but cooler!
Si 1 year ago

I agree with Charlie. Really interesting and honest stuff, thank you for sharing it.
LCF 1 year ago

I'm glad you were brave enough to post this. I hope people are more mindful about this sort of thing now
mrw7871 1 year ago

Fantastic!
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

like i always say, "autism is awesome!"
Perez 1 year ago

that was cute.

have you been to las vegas? ;-)
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

no...
noshoes 1 year ago

I would have never guess you felt any different about the world.

I am concerned for you about the cigarettes, try to stop that habit or you might end up like FuzzyDave. vimeo.com/clip:103088
FuzzyDave 1 year ago

If she ended up like me, she'd be fucking lucky, Sugar Britches.
iamloserduh 1 year ago

Yeah, Dave is awesome!
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

i certainly didn't see anything wrong with dave! cigarettes are bad for us, but, you know, so are most things. like staring at the compter screen all day. and driving cars. personally, i'd be more concerned with the happy meal he ate than the cigarette he was smoking.
Buck Flashroy 1 year ago

Yes, thanks for sharing. I think this video explains it all pretty well too.

I like the Japanese sign off aswell.
Blake Whitman 1 year ago

yes, thank you. i learned a lot by watching this.
jendreams 1 year ago

Have you seen "Mozart and the Whale"?

I'd be interested to know if you think it's an accurate depiction of people with Asperger's or if you think it is too stereotypically autistic.

I plan to keep watching these. Thanks for posting.
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

haven't seen it, but i'll check it out. i think my mom mentioned it to me once; she's actually much more into researchin this stuff, what with all the autistic offspring.
HannahMai 1 year ago

hey, and thank you for sharing this.
it's truely interesting to listen to what you have to say. so i will definetly keep watching your upcoming videos.
bent 2.0 1 year ago

awetisome!
Thommy Browne 1 year ago

ha ha
My name is Aaron 1 year ago

Your parenthesis have fingers attached to them.
Thommy Browne 1 year ago

I enjoyed watching this. Do you have an online portfolio of your art?
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

check out bikiniartist.com. there's new paintings on the front page, and if you click around a bit, examples of all the things i mentioned.
alissa 1 year ago

i know that suprized-confused look. thanks for sharing.
Gus 1 year ago

very insightful. id like to see some of your work :)
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

check out bikiniartist.com. let me know what ya think!
Brett Russell Dougherty 11 months ago

GUS! there you are!
Gus 11 months ago

Wah?
saintbob 1 year ago

Respectfully I might submit that every one of us struggles with life, we learn slowly or badly, we are all different and we all suffer mild or acute forms of one thing or the other, some compensate, some wallow, some use a crutch, no-one is normal, thankfully, but you seem a wordy, sharp, quick, humorous, questioning individual and that sure puts you ahead of most other people.
michael galpert 1 year ago

ditto
Fredrick, The Fist 1 year ago

I like this. A lot. :)

It's something I've thought I've had for a while, and I've been debating whether to go through the hassle of getting tested for a diagnosis, but still- I'm not certain...

I'm very glad to see someone out there who's insightful about this, and I look forward to seeing more!
Harold 1 year ago

This is amazing. I've been aware of Asperger's (Hasperger's?) for a few years now; in fact, when I first learned a bit about the symptoms, I wondered if I might have it. Thus far, nobody's diagnosed me with it, and it's probable I'm simply a bit hypochondriacal (as I'm most *certainly* a worry-wart), but you never know, you know?

I'll be subscribed to your videos; thanks for posting this.
dalas verdugo 1 year ago

I plan what I'm going to say to people way in advance too. And I am weird. I wonder if I have Aspergers.
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

i suspect it's more common than the medical community is aware of. i've even pondered it being the next step of evolution-- like our brains are getting too hard for us to work, so we have to try to keep up with them. and computers in general-- have you ever met a more autistic device? (i'll get to all this later, i'm sure. i'm getting way ahead of myself)
William Wilkinson 1 year ago

Now that I think about it, I do to Dalas.
michael galpert 1 year ago

same here!!!! I can't wait for Emily's future posts. Especially the one showing how computers are autistic!
40 Watt Fantasies 11 months ago

All men are on an Asperger's curve, which, if I remember correctly, looks like a Naptha cooling curve in reverse. This is part of the theory that it's the next evolutionary step, i.e. there is no way to avoid everyone being Asperger's in the (evolutionary time scale wise) near future. I am Asperger's and though it can be a bit of a swine to live with, especially in social situations, I wouldn't be without it as it means I can animate for weeks at a time without getting bored!
Enric 1 year ago

Very interesting. Thanks for letting me know!
Adam C. 1 year ago

your candor has not only helped you get stuff off your chest but educated a few of us. totally interested in further vimeo clips and/or video blogs
abbyladybug 1 year ago

It's so cool that you're doing this. I'm actually a psychologist and have been on the side of diagnosing Asperger's Syndrome. I love it when I meet people with AS (well, anyone really) who are aware of their shortcomings and are able to talk about them. I think that you probably have a lot to teach others, especially since it seems like you have been able to help yourself learn to "appear normal". It sucks, but in order for others to "let you in", that kind of acting is sometimes necessary. I will definitely watch more of these as they emerge.
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

thanks! though i might have a bone to pick with the term "shortcomings".... it's just the way i am, and i'll defend the notion that perhaps everyone else is just a little too high maintainence to handle it ;)
uNDERL!ON 1 year ago

I'm speechless-- I think I just saw a mental health professional tell somebody, "No one is going to be sympathetic if they suspect that you're different! And why should we expect them to be? Best course of action here is for you to try to guess what other people think is normal and make sure that you don't accidentally deviate from that image!"
3d60 9 months ago

We all ive in social war a constant battle of knowing communication. In fact what most of us do is create and live in assumptions of whats happenning around us. AS that I have known in me and others around me is trying to get to the truth of everyday exsistance, a fear of the faceless and uncarring modern social world a reaction to the lies both intentinal and regurgetated....What we call sanity is madness unbelivable madness opt out I say go freakin mad. Normal is a grey place where strangers coexsist its a place clothed in denial and shame. Normal is wank. be insane be confrontational be inept be you above and beyond any social grace be you.

I can see your autism and the way you use acting in your Bikini Artist work, the mechanical playfullness tinged with self doubt and fear is a very powerfull tool, you weild it well be proud. Very good work fine art fine social commentary ... wicked smile
lindsey! 1 year ago

i do those hand parentheses too!

can't wait for your next videos.
Jeremy Chapman (j-chap) 1 year ago

-i'm gonna start using those parenth's

-cool, thank you for being open and unashamed about both your weaknesses and your sweet skills

-i'm in japan, too! we should, i don't know, do something with all the vimeojapan folks

mata atode-
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

oh, man, i am totally not in japan anymore. i was, and just haven't bothered to change it (however, i plan on returning in the fall, i can catch you then)
beaglebot 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing.
dshalock 1 year ago

Really great clip. Very interesting and you presented it in a very captivating manner.
dboy4jc 1 year ago

Great video there sis..... So do you speak Nihongo?

God Bless... :-)
Alex Itin 1 year ago

hey you have aspergers?

Im nearly jealous

does that sound wrong?
lenamsterdamshow 1 year ago

thanks for sharing that
RedSkynight 1 year ago

as an art teacher I found this really informative, when you go to school for teaching they throw all this crazy verbage at you about different 'spectrums of austism' and it was refreshing to hear it from a personal perpective. Thank you
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

go figure-- i'm an art teacher too :) i actually had a clip in here about how it factors into my teaching, but i edited it out (in order to perhaps give it it's own video in the future.)
3d60 9 months ago

I teach as well and regulary find myself working with kids view of themselves and those around them. I teach stenciling ..well I say I teach I purposefully let things go wrong to prompt experiment and problem solving.. also when you do things you don't do it again. I can tell someone to do it that way till blue inthe face, but a lesson only ever gets learnt by personal experience and expectation only ever get exceeded by endeavour
Chromazone 1 year ago

After visiting your site, I was very impressed with a unique artistic (painterly) talent. Perhaps being “a little different” has some positive side effects when it stimulates creativity. Art(aut)istic talent can be a “weird” and wonderful gift.
trp0 1 year ago

NPR has had a couple good segments about autism recently.

npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7382362
npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5285721
npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5165123
uNDERL!ON 1 year ago

"I got really good early on at noticing my own inabilities and quickly patching them up.. however, I still feel it every day-- I still feel how I'm a little different and I don't get it the way everyone else gets it."

Have you considered rejecting a clinical explanation for this feeling? I am totally missing what the benefits are to accepting that your struggles are merely the result of a not-uncommon malfunction of the seratonin glands... or the mirror neurons of the inferior parietal cortex... or the malevolent humours brought on by demonic possession, or however they attempt to scientifically describe your behavior tomorrow..

Maybe I'm the only one, but I am CREEPED out by this waterfall of smiling faces rushing to congratulate somebody for embracing victimhood.

"I have no heart!"
"I can relate, I have no courage!"
"I think I need a brain! Keep in mind that I have no brain, though, so my opinion may be totally wrong!"

Not trying to be harsh, but I honestly find this whole page surreal in its acceptance of the modern medical institution's idea of "mental health"--- seriously, ppl actually still believe ADD/ADHD is real???
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

um. i'm-not-a-victim, thank-you-very-much.

and i would certainly not embrace that state. i am a perfectly capapble, sucessful, and happy adult-- able to hold down two excellent jobs in my field, work endlessly on my art, and maintain rewarding relationships.

no one, at any point-- doctors and therapists included-- ever called into question my "mental health". "rejecting" the clinical explaination seemed silly. thats all it was-- a clinical explanation. it hadn's stopped me from getting my degree, driving a car, or getting laid-- i certainly don't feel so insecure in the way people look at me that i have to tell doctors that i reject what they think. i asked them, thats what they told me, and the biggest wave it's caused in my life so far as been the amount of "you have a vimeo comment" emails in my inbox!

AND WHILE I'M AT IT;

"I have no heart!"-- yes i fucking do, cause you just made it hurt a bit.
"I can relate, I have no courage!"-- fuck that noise, dude. a year ago i up and moved to a foreign country where i learned to relate to an intirely new culture. that took courage.
"I think I need a brain! Keep in mind that I have no brain, though, so my opinion may be totally wrong!"-- yeah, ok, i'm bored with this. what autistic person said this to you? cause it sure wasn't me.
uNDERL!ON 1 year ago

My Wizard-of-Oz reference was an attempt to illustrate what these comments look like to me, not to put words in your mouth. Remember how it turned out that the Tin Man, Lion, and Scarecrow actually had the things they thought they were missing all along? I'd say people who doctors convince to accept this kind of "hereditary brain chemistry malfunctions=the source of your anguish" BS as part of their identity have a similar issue.

I can understand that people who have embraced this idea that they're not "normal" may feel some comfort knowing that they have a rare disease which makes them kind of special and which makes anything they do twice as amazing (because they had to overcome this handicap to do it) but at the same time, it seems pretty obvious that there is a big downside to walking around believing that the main source of the distance you feel from your fellow humans is a miscalibration of chemicals caused by inherited genes you have no possibility of influencing whatsoever...

And it's hardly "silly" to reject the clinical explanation for your feelings. Not when you consider that 50 years ago these same doctors routinely suggested ECT or a partial frontal lobotomy to help people like you "act normal" so they could, you know, get a degree and drive a car without difficulty, like "healthy" human beings are supposed to.

Seriously, there are a lot more perspectives out there about this kind of experience besides the one that old men with degrees make millions of dollars off of/millions of victims out of...

This is not a bad place to start, if you're at all interested in what other people think about these pruported conditions, syndromes, and diseases of the mind: deoxy.org/evasion/
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

point the first; my doctor is a woman (not an old man) and she wasn't even born 50 years ago, so i'm pretty sure she's never done a lobotomy on anyone. nor did she suggest i change myself in any way-- she never even prescribed anything other than talking to her about how i feel when i felt the need.

i don't really feel like having to justify myself to you anymore-- you obviously have already established opinions about this, and i'm not sure why you are foisting them on me. if this upsets you so much, i cordially invite you to not watch any of my videos anymore.

i think it would be obvious from out dialogue that i am competent and don't need (or solicit) this kind of "advice."
uNDERL!ON 1 year ago

Read "The Human Evasion" anyway. It's as funny as it is insightful and I think you would appreciate it.

At the very least please glance over the summaries at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-psychiatry
JoshFlowers 1 year ago

uNDErL!on why do you care? Whether these condinitions are real or not does it really matter that much to you? Do you just feel left out? Let's say she suddenly agrees with you. Did that really change anything? What if you are wrong though? You would be the type of person that would make it harder for others to share about their conditions. If she's wrong it really doesn't affect anything except it's another person who disagrees with you. Big deal on that front. Personally no matter how many mistakes a profession has made I'm going to agree with a doctor over a an ordinary cynic with weblinks.
uNDERL!ON 1 year ago

I'm advocating for another perspective because I've seen firsthand the suffering that artists can experience when they use the reductive language and concepts of the medical institution to explain themselves to others.

What you call "sharing" about "their conditions" is really publicly self-identifying as a mentally handicapped person. To medicalize the feelings that differentiate Emily from the so-called "neurotypical" individual (What Celia Green calls a "sane person") is a way of controlling her, plain and simple.

JoshFlowers, I double dare you to actually read my weblinks before you toss any more reactionary banalities into this discussion, because this is what I'm getting from you right now:

"Personally no matter what evidence might support the fallibility of modern medicine, I'm still gonna let that doctor stick his hand in my ass! Only a paranoid crackpot would dare question the sanctity of these highly paid men!"
Emiri Sensei 1 year ago

hey, dude; really, i'm RIGHT HERE, and i can READ THIS. if you call me mentally handicaped ONE MORE TIME i am going to make a video about how YOU are a total nutso.

one little video does not an emily make-- and if this is all you are judging me on, then you are seriously missing out on a whole lot of interesting shit.

the only think that is getting controlled right now is MY LAST NERVE, because you are effin' ON IT.
coop 1 year ago

It seems to me that under a rather clumsy delivery uNDERL!ON is actually being nice. I don't think he's saying anything that's literally offensive, but the delivery makes it come off as so (or easy to interpret as such).

Anyway, cool video, keep it up :)
Brett Russell Dougherty 11 months ago

I've got to pitch in and say that Underlion (right?) seems like he/she is really concerned about letting whatever truth exists be known and wanting to wake you up to it. Now, if this is legit or even accurate, I'm not going to take a position on that because I am not nearly well-versed on either side of this debate as either of you are, but I've got to say that it is extremely fascinating. I have never questioned the good intention of medicine and those who practice it, but now looking back on what people did to each other long ago under what they thought to be right does scare me. I'd like to think that we've grown way beyond that and I'm probably going to keep telling myself that we have, but I am so

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